If you are visiting this site, I would gather that you’ve heard of this little independent movie. And I also could gather that you’ve read every other review of it around the vast mountainous valleys of the interweb. So what I won’t try and do is get into a monologue about the artistic merits of the “Friday The 13th” series, try and fool you into thinking that this may be regarded as high art in disguise, or mask in any way that this movie is northing but a series of kills wrapped around a thin plot.

What I will try and do is convince you that despite some other critic’s bantering of the contrary, Jason Vorhees is not a character that we own, nor do we decide what does and does not make a “Friday The 13th” movie. If anyone out there thinks that this or any of the other entries in the series are anything other then an attempt at making money off of teenage boys and horror fans you are indeed taking this series far more serious that you ought to. They are the same as every pop record ever made. A big, juicy piece of bubblegum that’s great every time you chew it, but every piece is pretty much the same, however neatly packaged.

Plot synopsis….this is a “Friday The 13th” movie. Some poor schmucks go up to Crystal Lake to have sex and get wasted. They disturb local mongoloid Jason Vorhees. He gets pissed off and kills them all one by one in various (mostly) inventive ways. But this time Jason takes a hostage (Amanda Righetti) who happens to resemble dear ole’ Momma Vorhees, and we finally find out why it was so easy for him to catch all those kids without running. While in the meantime, an army of militant horror fans freak the F*CK out.

Firstly, let’s face the cold hard truth. How good can you expect a direct to DVD sequel to "The Cell" to possibly be? The first film, however beautiful and technically brilliant it was, story wise is a big muddled mess. You also have to deal with the mid-to-poor range acting of Miss Lopez, and a non comedic performance by usual funnyman Vince Vaughn, to which those who have sat through "A Cool Dry Place" or "Return To Paradise" can tell you is never a good thing. So, it's with expectations to the extreme low side that I offer this review of "The Cell 2". The sequel that nobody demanded, needed, wanted, or could ever in their wildest dreams imagined would ever exist. But nonetheless, here it is. And while it's nowhere in the same vicinity of ever being mentioned as a masterpiece, it's not all the "just plain suck" affair that you would expect it to be.

Generic Latino Lopez replacement Maya (Tessie Santiago) was the only victim of serial killer "The Cusp" (yep...The Cusp, what does that even mean?) to ever have escaped. You see, The Cusp's modus aperendi is kidnapping women, torturing them, killing them then bringing them back to life each time until the beg him to let them die completely. Maya, with her near death experience at the Cusp's hands, has developed a psychic link with him and can see into his mind, but conveniently can't determine his identity. After loosing the last victim Maya leaves the investigation but is brought back in 1 year later upon the killer's return. With the help of small town Sherriff  Harris (Jason Statham impersonator Chris Bruno) and his Deputy Duncan (Frank Whaley) she must find him before his  next victim, Harris’ niece, succumbs to a fate worse then death.